Nothing progresses in my life, it seems... My job, my income, my home... My family relationships, my social skills, my dating skills... My hobbies, my interests, my activities... My dancing skills, my frisbee skills... Anything... I look back over the last year, & I'm saddened by how little my life has changed for the better. I look back over the last few years, & I'm outright distraught by how little my life has changed for the better.
It's not that I haven't progressed at all---but it's been so incredibly slow-going... I haven't made so much progress that I should've by now. I know the word "should" can be dangerous to use, but it's quite appropriate. And so much of what little progress I have made has either been done the hard way, or has (for all kinds of reasons) come far, far too late... I've spent so much time figuring things out on my own. I'm not sure anyone ever really taught me how to progress in life...in anything...
And I've made so very many mistakes myself...
I feel like I have so little control over so many things. I feel like I'm shooting blind in life...like most of life has ended up being based more on luck & happenstance than on skill or reasoning. And I've let myself become such a weak person... I end up basing so many of my decisions on fear---& it's sad, because I keep seeing so many examples of why my fears are largely justified...
I don't seem to know how to progress in life... Obviously I need to start doing some things differently, but as with most things in life, everything is easier said than done...
Nothing progresses in my life, it seems... It's always the same thing, over & over---the same story, the same schedule, the same activities, the same interactions, the same decisions, the same outcome...
"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
