I haven't Blogged in far, far too long... I refer you to my last 2 Blog-Posts...you get so busy with the day-to-day activities, requirements, & hassles of life, that a lot of things end up falling by the wayside... You have to intentionally make time for a lot of things in life. I'm going to try hard to make time for Blogging.
I've written 2 different Blog-Posts about introverts & extroverts, & the dynamic between the two:
"Introverts & Extroverts"
http://klaamas.blogspot.com/2012/07/introverts-extroverts.html
"Caring for Introverts"
http://klaamas.blogspot.com/2013/04/caring-for-introverts.html
I have more to say on the subject--to further clarify & expand on things, & even to give a different way of looking at the terms in general.
Beyond my own Blog-Posts, there have been a lot of things going around the Internet over the last few years about introverts, & I think a lot of people have been getting the wrong impression about what we're trying to say. The vast majority of us aren't claiming that introverts are somehow "superior" to extroverts--just that we're different, & that not enough extroverts understand that that means they need to treat us differently than they treat each other.
Yes, the world needs introverts--we introverts have strengths that society definitely needs. But I'll readily confess, the world needs extroverts as well--extroverts definitely have strengths that society needs. The thing we want to explain is that, as I said in my 2nd Blog-Post on the subject, "We live in an extrovert-friendly, introvert-unfriendly society, and not nearly enough extroverts understand that." Far too often, without realizing it or even meaning to, extroverts end up inadvertantly hijacking most social interactions, & forcing everyone to play on their terms. And you know what? It's exhausting.
But there's another thing that far too many people don't realize--we tend to equate extroversion with being outgoing, & introversion with being reserved, but that's not always the way it works. Being extroverted means that you are energized by social interactions, while being introverted means that social interactions are emotionally-draining.
That's not to say that introverts don't like or want social interactions--we do. We need them. But think of it like money: Yes, we all wish nothing costed money, but we all understand & accept that things do, & we learn to budget ourselves financially. And there are plenty of things that, as expensive as they are, we realize are totally worth the price. It's the same thing with emotional energy for introverts--any & all social interactions inherently cost us emotional energy, but as long as we gain something worthwhile from the interaction, it's worth it.
Someone explained it really well in this "Guide to Understanding the Introverted"
http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=63454
The way I see it, here's how it works: Introverts gain emotional energy from things like work, projects, reading, & imagining--sometimes all it takes is an exciting new daydream to energize us. And we spend that energy on social interactions to gain fulfillment. Extroverts are the complete opposite--they gain emotional energy from social interactions, & spend it on things like work & projects to gain fulfillment. Neither one is right or wrong, better or worse--just different.
And it's vitally important to understand & accept that difference. Too many extroverts don't understand the emotional priorities of introverts--as important & great as work & projects, careers & accomplishments are, what does any of that matter if you can't emotionally connect with other people? But it's also important to understand that it's not a black and white issue--it's quite a spectrum, with lots of varying degrees in between (some even use the term "Ambivert" to describe those firmly between introversion & extroversion).
But it's not just a sliding scale between introversion & extroversion--at the same time, it's also a spectrum between being reserved & outgoing (which again, can be very different from being introverted or extroverted). I think it can be illustrated well with a simple chart:
Everyone could represent themselves as a dot somewhere across this chart. But as a culture, we tend to only recognize the upper-left & lower-right quadrants, & don't even acknowledge the other 2. There are Reserved Extroverts--people who are very quiet, & even shy, but who are energized by social interactions (they just tend to fly under the radar). And there are Outgoing Introverts--people who are very boistrous & unafraid to be the center of attention, but who get drained by it all relatively quickly (in essence, their social fuses burn hot but fast).
The Outgoing Extroverts usually do fine in social situations. And the Reserved Extroverts & Outgoing Introverts do pretty well, too--their extroverted or outgoing nature usually gives them the ability to take care of themselves socially (even though they're often mistaken for being on a completely different part of the chart than they actually are). But for the standard Reserved Introverts, it can be really hard--so many people focus on the fact that we're not outgoing, & don't seem to realize how draining social interactions can be for us. It's not that extroverts can never be drained by social interactions--but it's a constant aspect of social interactions for us introverts.
We introverts need social interactions, & not just with "our own kind". But extrovert interactions with introverts tend to go in one of two ways: Either they cluelessly treat introverts the way they treat their fellow extroverts, overwhelming the introverts & leaving a negative impact--or they go too far in trying to not overwhelm introverts, & end up largely ignoring us... But there is a happy medium. The key is to be engaging, but not overbearing. And the threshold between those two is very different for introverts than it is for extroverts.
It's incredibly important for everyone to realize that being introverted or extroverted does not necessarily equate being reserved or outgoing. And even where introversion or extroversion applies, it's vitally important to understand how to interact with the other side. And everyone needs to always keep these things in mind--because the continuous barrage of extrovert-centered social interactions is incredibly burdonsome and wearysome to us introverts. Extroverts, we don't think we're superior to you--we need you. So use your strengths to help us out...
"Personality has power to uplift, power to depress, power to curse, and power to bless."
I've written 2 different Blog-Posts about introverts & extroverts, & the dynamic between the two:
"Introverts & Extroverts"
http://klaamas.blogspot.com/2012/07/introverts-extroverts.html
"Caring for Introverts"
http://klaamas.blogspot.com/2013/04/caring-for-introverts.html
I have more to say on the subject--to further clarify & expand on things, & even to give a different way of looking at the terms in general.
Beyond my own Blog-Posts, there have been a lot of things going around the Internet over the last few years about introverts, & I think a lot of people have been getting the wrong impression about what we're trying to say. The vast majority of us aren't claiming that introverts are somehow "superior" to extroverts--just that we're different, & that not enough extroverts understand that that means they need to treat us differently than they treat each other.
Yes, the world needs introverts--we introverts have strengths that society definitely needs. But I'll readily confess, the world needs extroverts as well--extroverts definitely have strengths that society needs. The thing we want to explain is that, as I said in my 2nd Blog-Post on the subject, "We live in an extrovert-friendly, introvert-unfriendly society, and not nearly enough extroverts understand that." Far too often, without realizing it or even meaning to, extroverts end up inadvertantly hijacking most social interactions, & forcing everyone to play on their terms. And you know what? It's exhausting.
But there's another thing that far too many people don't realize--we tend to equate extroversion with being outgoing, & introversion with being reserved, but that's not always the way it works. Being extroverted means that you are energized by social interactions, while being introverted means that social interactions are emotionally-draining.
That's not to say that introverts don't like or want social interactions--we do. We need them. But think of it like money: Yes, we all wish nothing costed money, but we all understand & accept that things do, & we learn to budget ourselves financially. And there are plenty of things that, as expensive as they are, we realize are totally worth the price. It's the same thing with emotional energy for introverts--any & all social interactions inherently cost us emotional energy, but as long as we gain something worthwhile from the interaction, it's worth it.
Someone explained it really well in this "Guide to Understanding the Introverted"
http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=63454
The way I see it, here's how it works: Introverts gain emotional energy from things like work, projects, reading, & imagining--sometimes all it takes is an exciting new daydream to energize us. And we spend that energy on social interactions to gain fulfillment. Extroverts are the complete opposite--they gain emotional energy from social interactions, & spend it on things like work & projects to gain fulfillment. Neither one is right or wrong, better or worse--just different.
And it's vitally important to understand & accept that difference. Too many extroverts don't understand the emotional priorities of introverts--as important & great as work & projects, careers & accomplishments are, what does any of that matter if you can't emotionally connect with other people? But it's also important to understand that it's not a black and white issue--it's quite a spectrum, with lots of varying degrees in between (some even use the term "Ambivert" to describe those firmly between introversion & extroversion).
But it's not just a sliding scale between introversion & extroversion--at the same time, it's also a spectrum between being reserved & outgoing (which again, can be very different from being introverted or extroverted). I think it can be illustrated well with a simple chart:
Everyone could represent themselves as a dot somewhere across this chart. But as a culture, we tend to only recognize the upper-left & lower-right quadrants, & don't even acknowledge the other 2. There are Reserved Extroverts--people who are very quiet, & even shy, but who are energized by social interactions (they just tend to fly under the radar). And there are Outgoing Introverts--people who are very boistrous & unafraid to be the center of attention, but who get drained by it all relatively quickly (in essence, their social fuses burn hot but fast).
The Outgoing Extroverts usually do fine in social situations. And the Reserved Extroverts & Outgoing Introverts do pretty well, too--their extroverted or outgoing nature usually gives them the ability to take care of themselves socially (even though they're often mistaken for being on a completely different part of the chart than they actually are). But for the standard Reserved Introverts, it can be really hard--so many people focus on the fact that we're not outgoing, & don't seem to realize how draining social interactions can be for us. It's not that extroverts can never be drained by social interactions--but it's a constant aspect of social interactions for us introverts.
We introverts need social interactions, & not just with "our own kind". But extrovert interactions with introverts tend to go in one of two ways: Either they cluelessly treat introverts the way they treat their fellow extroverts, overwhelming the introverts & leaving a negative impact--or they go too far in trying to not overwhelm introverts, & end up largely ignoring us... But there is a happy medium. The key is to be engaging, but not overbearing. And the threshold between those two is very different for introverts than it is for extroverts.
It's incredibly important for everyone to realize that being introverted or extroverted does not necessarily equate being reserved or outgoing. And even where introversion or extroversion applies, it's vitally important to understand how to interact with the other side. And everyone needs to always keep these things in mind--because the continuous barrage of extrovert-centered social interactions is incredibly burdonsome and wearysome to us introverts. Extroverts, we don't think we're superior to you--we need you. So use your strengths to help us out...
"Personality has power to uplift, power to depress, power to curse, and power to bless."
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