I'm so tired...so tired of being tired... Mentally & emotionally tired, of course...but it's even harder to deal with those when you're always physically tired as well...
I can never get to sleep easily... If I'm absolutetly exhausted, I can get to sleep in maybe half an hour, but most nights, it takes at least an hour, sometimes two... My mind just won't stop working! I can never stop thinking! And if I try not to think, I get bored, & then I'm preoccupied w/being bored...or I get preoccupied w/trying not think... If nothing else, my mind just catches onto whatever random thought strays by...the last thing I was thinking of, a song stuck in my head, something that happened that day, something coming up the next day... Pure sleepiness eventually wins over, but not quickly enough...
And even worse is trying to wake up...I've never been a morning person...even if I get to bed before midnight, I can sleep in 'til 9:00 w/out even trying. But it's gotten worse...this past summer I spent most mornings sleeping in 'til 10:00...and lately when I don't have to be anywhere, I can sleep in 'til 11:00...or later... I'm just so incredibly, unbelievably groggy...my mind just feels like mush... I consider getting up, & I just think "Ughhh..." & fall right back to sleep like that...
But the worst part of all is how the rest of me feels...regardless of how little I wore myself out the night before, regardless of how early I went to bed, in the morning I feel completely & totally drained of energy... My whole body, especially my limbs, especially my legs, feels heavy & tight...often to the point of lightly aching... Every night I go to bed feeling tired (as I should), but then every morning I wake up feeling exhausted...
On one episode of the TV show M*A*S*H, a reporter from the States was asking all the main characters questions about the war, their work, etc. When asked what they hoped to do when the war ended, the character Hawkeye said "I'd like to take six to eight months, and become unconscious...not do anything, not go any place, not have anything asked of me...just sleep... And then I'd like to go to Europe, and sleep there for a year."
Oh, how I echo his sentiment... Sometimes I just want to sleep...and sleep...and sleep...and sleep until I just can't sleep anymore... I wonder what that feels like...to be so rested that you actually want to get out of bed? I have no idea, because I never sleep well...I would kill for a good-night's sleep... And such exhaustion robs me of the day's morale right from the get-go...I have so little motivation to do what needs doing each day...
I'm always tired, I've had a cold for 2 1/2 months, & I have lots of other little medical oddities going on, too... I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so we'll se how it goes. I just hope he can find something wrong with me that has a definite solution. Because I can't function like this...
So very tired...
"Even thus last night, and two nights more I lay,
And could not win thee, Sleep, by any stealth:
So do not let me wear to-night away.
Without thee what is all the morning's wealth?
Come, blessed barrier between day and day,
Dear mother of fresh thoughts and joyous health!"
3 comments:
Something you might try if you haven't already it to change your diet. Try cutting out any unnecisarily greasy, sugary or generally unhealthy foods. it's amazing the kind of energy you have when you start eating right. Oh, and drink lots and lots of water. Lots.
Also, try meditating before you go to bed. If you need to be doing something while you do this, stretch.
Best of Luck!
Dude, this is super creepy. It sounds remarkably like what I went through my senior year of high school. I just wrote the long story about it, but I don't want to freak you out and make you think your case is the same as mine was. It was a pretty serious medical thing, and I'm sure you're relatively fine. Still, I know what it is like to be that exhausted and be sick and tired of being tired. I found it frustrating as all hell. I hope you feel better soon.
I am the same way even when I was a kid my parents had to kick my butt out of bed. I could go to bed early but I'd be awake quite a while till I finally fell asleep then I'd be groggy the next day. I'm the same way still. I sleep in till 5 pm sometimes on the weekend or atleast till I know i can't sleep anymore. ;P Mostly why I work nights. Getting up before noon would kill me. :P
~L~
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